I tried hard to mend my wicked ways.
I acted like a lunatic for years.
Lord knows, I try to be good.
I'd keep my promises, if only I could.
You count your blessings that I can't rely on you.
And I tried.
And I tried.
And I tried.
And I tried.
Clutch your pictures of the Pope.
Pray to God for love and hope.
Bring the Virgin home for luck.
Bolt the door, better keep it shut.
I've done things I never thought I'd do.
Sure, it helps to lose myself in you.
A little time and I'll be all right.
Come on, sugar, let's go out tonight.
Forgive your trespasses and all that we've been through.
Oh, I tried.
And I tried.
And I tried.
And I tried.
And I tried.
And I tried.
And I tried.
And I tried.
Clutch your pictures of the Pope.
Pray to God for love and hope.
Bring the Virgin home for luck.
Bolt the door, better keep it shut.
That sinking feeling
When you are leaving,
All I believe in
Walks out the door.
I tried hard to mend my wicked ways.
The damage done, there's nothing left to save.
Oh, I tried.
And I tried.
And I tried.
And I tried.
And I tried.
And I tried.
And I tried.
Clutch your pictures of the Pope. (just like I told you)
Pray to God for love and hope. (just like I warned you)
Bring the Virgin home for luck. (just like I told you)
Bolt the door, try to keep it shut. (just like I warned you)Take all the money that we need for school
And to keep the street people in out of the cold
Spend it on a weapon you can never use
Make the world an offer that they can't refuse
Open up the door and let the shark-men feed
Hoover of the future in the land of greed
Sell the Ponderosa to the Japanese
Slap leather, head for that line of trees, yeah
Slap leather
Go on Ron
Just about to go myself
Turn the whole wide world into a TV show
So it's just the same game wherever you go
You never meet a soul that you don't already know
One big advertisement for the status quo
As if these celebrities were your close friends
As if you knew how the story ends
As if you weren't sitting in a room alone
And there was somebody real at the other end of the phone, yeah
Squibnocket
Phone sex
Just about to dial your number
Get all worked up so we can go to war
We find something worth killing for
Tie a yellow ribbon around your eyes
Big McFalafel and a side of fries
Yeah, Big McFalafel
Stormin' Norman
I just love a parade
Slap leather
Phone love
Big McFalafel
Just about to dial myself